When the tragedy strikes...

Early April 2014

My older son has just came back from World Figure Skating Championships in Japan.  We were thrilled by the progress that him and his ice-dance partner were making.  They were planning the new season and looking forward to two weeks off from grueling training schedule. 

Then just few weeks into this bliss, we get a Facebook Message that his skating partner quit.  She is just not coming back to US to train. 

This was unexpected, unprofessional, unjust, unthinkable... I could go on and on and on... I'm still not OK, with what she did.   She benefited from walking away, someone made sure of that - skating politics.  There was nothing we could do.  

The dream shuttered.

The World around me collapsed. My son was devastated and tried to cope... I was a total mess, a wreck really.  I screamed, I sobbed, cursed... I hated and cried some more.  In fact I cried every day for about 4 months.  

Please don't judge.  This was my grieving process as I was laying to rest 14 years of hard work, sacrifices, dedication and perseverance.  

I was at the point where I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't go out, I was shutting down.  There were so many unanswered questions... I just didn't know how to move on. 

Adding this to my physical exhaustion that I was already dealing with, I was not doing good.  Things became quite scary as I was on a brink of depression. 

I was sitting on a sofa and browsing Facebook posts from my friends.  I haven'e posted in months as there was nothing positive (I thought) I could share with others, and venting my sorrows out in the open would only bring in more questions (that I had no answers to) and more pain and tears.  So I was just watching... and watching... and one day I became quite intrigued with what I saw.  

One of my longtime friends was sharing her story and was thrilled about how great she was feeling.  

Well... I was down in the rut and I was not feeling well at all.  

It took me few weeks of quietly watching my friends' posts before I got the guts to ask what she was going on and on about.

She said - you really need to try this stuff!  It's called Thrive and it's amazing!

Looking back on that day I know now that she has saved me.  She introduced me to something that gave me the energy to live again.  I was sure that this Thrive Experience will be as effective as all other things that I tried over the years to loose weight, get in shape, feel better, get stronger...

None of those programs worked for me - not one!  Why would this new Thrive do?

Boy was I wrong!  

Do you living your life, exhausted?

I'm pretty sure I know how you feel...

I mean, physically.  If you like thousands other overworked and over-stressed men and women, you are most likely exhausted by the time you have your first coffee in the morning.

How I know?   I was there too.

The story went like this:

Leaving the office around 5 in the afternoon and usually closer to 6, then sitting in that car like a veal, driving home.  I was one of the lucky few... going against traffic - so I was actually driving - that was always a bonus, as I was relaxing.

That's what I called it.  The reality was different, many, many times I would find myself sobbing behind the wheel!  No, no one was mean to me at work, no one yelled at me, I wasn't hurt physically.
I was just so tired, exhausted really with no hope of the next day being better, and the tears were a form of release, I guess.

So most days, I would pull over to the side of the highway and pray that no one could actually see the despair in my eyes or the red cheeks and those huge tears dripping down my face.  I would sit there for a moment, trying to compose myself, so I could go home to my family.

I would walk in the door smiling...

Than I would cook dinner, clean up a bit, try to read a book, answer e-mails, watch a movie, make few of my fabric flowers (that was supposed to relax me).  Then I would get into bed and... just sit there for hours unable to sleep!

The morning would come and after finally falling asleep around 3 in the morning, I would wake up cranky and exhausted... again.  I was spiraling deeper and deeper into the exhaustion and I didn't know how to save myself.

Than something happened that crushed me...

Las Vegas Magic

My first time in Las Vegas, and I'm like a little kid!

I had no idea it's THIS much fun!  And no, I don't mean playing at the Casinos.

I'm mesmerized by the architectural details, walking around with the stunned look in my eyes.  The colours, the grandeur, the intricate and meticulously kept details everywhere I look.

Even our older Mirage... with the majestic volcano and stately glass dome... yes, you can tell that it's aging, but oh, how graciously.   Every moment of your stay here is pleasant, maybe not relaxing, as there is so much to hear and do... but definitely unforgettable.

And then you have the food... take Pantry at the Mirage, breakfast of the kings is served there!  I never had an omelette this good!  Spinach, mushrooms and feta... WOW - simple, but just WOW!

You may think: why would you go to Vegas and not play???

Oh, I played... lost some, won some... but it's not blowing my skirt up.  It's ok, when I'm waiting for the rest of my friends to go out and we are "meeting in the lobby in 20".

If you are here, be sure to check out those amazing hotels, just for fun!

I'm definitely coming back with my Husband! 

Taking steps to find your focus.

Finding your focus is not an easy task when there is a pile of files on your desk and a tangled, wired mess of thoughts in your head; but you have to start somewhere.

In my experience as a CEO of a busy Canadian Household, (my side job - you know the one we do after we come home from work); where several different agendas were coming together and there were always many things happening "right now" in different areas of town, where you suffer from CHAOS - (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) on most days; I found that in order to keep my sanity, I needed HELP!  

So my search began (online of course); the information that I found was quite overwhelming and difficult to weave through, so I picked and chose the bits and pieces that I felt comfortable with.  

First of all, I allowed myself to acknowledge the fact that "I can't do it ALL".  Period!  As soon as you are ok with that simple statement, the perspective changes and you feel... like you CAN! 

Amazing!  

Now for the tools I used to get a grip on my life that was going in all different directions and getting nowhere fast.  

I set RULES for myself and decided to follow a time schedule.  

I know it sounds bad, because it suggest constrains, especially for someone who IS their own boss.  But am I, really?  

I started treating my day exactly like I would if I was actually going out the door to get to work. Getting up at a decent hour (in my case it's 7 am) every day.

First thing on my agenda is THRIVE - simple 3 step nutritional program that provides all that my body needs. Then 20 minutes on an elliptical, quick shower and breakfast.  By 8 am, I'm all ready for the office - nope, I'm not in my pajamas anymore - in case you were wondering!

At the office I check my list of things I need to do that day.  The list is relatively short (not more than 5 major items - if you are just starting out, try committing to 3 items).

Each item on the list, should not take more than an hour.  I group the like items together and allocate a time slot to them.  I use a timer (could be just a kitchen time, or you can use your phone). Set the timer for 15 minutes and start my task.  If I finish the task within the first 15 minutes, than I move onto the next task and set the timer for next 15 minutes.

If my original task is not done, I concentrate on it for another 15 minutes, and if needed for another two sets of 15 minutes for a total of an hour.

The key here is to not work on one task for more than an hour.  After each task, I will take a mini break - grab a cup of tea, or a snack. 5 minutes or so.  Than I move onto another item on my list (with a timer).  

This approach, can work for anyone and can, of course be modified to suit your specific needs.

Come back soon for more tips on how to get your life back and organize your day in a productive way!  

Finding your Focus

I've been around long enough to know that all our efforts pay off, sooner or later.  It doesn't matter if we are talking about reviewing already retained info for an exam or practicing your cake decorating skills to create that special cake for your son’s birthday.

If we focus on the task at hand, our efforts will be fruitful much earlier than if we were trying to “do” few things all at once.

But how do we get that focus? How do we concentrate on one thing and allocate all our efforts to the task at hand and do not get distracted by that million other things sitting there on our to-do list?

It's all about being organized and disciplined. 

As many of the Success Gurus will tell you... you day can be and should be organized, so you CAN focus on the tasks on your list, get things done (preferably one-at-a-time) and in turn, feel accomplished.  

We all know how great it feels to be able to look at your to-do list and see all the check marks!  Oh... right... you don't have a to-do list!  

No worries! You are not the only one!  It took me months to focus enough to create one for every day. I used to think that writing stuff down was a waste of time.  I'm all about saving time you know.  Using your time wisely! 

So with this original method of mine I had all my daily tasks, schedules, obligations, chores and everything else I was supposed to accomplish on any given day... stored "loosely" in my head (and sometimes on several pieces of paper - for good measure).  

You know well, how that worked out for me most of the time.  

Stressed, disheveled and always "running late", frantically looking for excuses and hoping that no one will know that my days (often filled to the brim) were just a tangled mess!

Focusing back to the task at hand, at any given moment is an act of discipline and concentration.  It's almost a chore - if you please, and many of us think we are not capable of doing just that, especially if we work from home.   Read more here.